OK, so it's been a long time.

Oh, I know what you've been thinking: that other whine country blog has got me licked. Or maybe I read Living in the Whine Country, and just put my tail between my legs and gave up.

Not so.

I checked that first one in late August last year, and I thought to myself, "Shit, this guy is posting all the damn time -- he's totally going to win the "best blog with the name Whine Country" award or some crap. But look who's on top now in a google search. Me. Ok, I'm not up there with litwc, but shit man, that guy has like five posts from the last two days. And at least two of them have fairly cool stuff (ruggedized military usb drive, insanely creepy video of a chick with two heads).

Whereas those other blogs may well post more often than I do, and sure, they're probably better written and stuff, but I have one thing going for me: I AM COMPLETELY INSANE.

Which is why I am taking this moment to announce the identity of my arch-enemy: John Mayer.

Sure, he's got the fame, the money, the women. The custom stratocasters. The guitar trio.

IT SHOULD BE ME, DAMMIT!!! I could have written those crap pop songs. Your body is a wonderland. Dammit. It's so obvious....

I will not cease to fight against this oppressor until I have vanquished him in an all-out guitar duel, a la Ralph Macchio vs. Steve Vai at the end of Crossroads.

Eat that, local blog competition.